The Book Boyfriend Effect

So after a good character development session today, the thought came to me about book boyfriends. You know the Mr. Darcys and Christian Greys of the world. Before I go any further with this post, I would like to give a shout out to my own first book boyfriend. Mr. Mamrou Chiba (aka Prince Endymion) of Sailor Moon.

"Oh Darien ..." (In my Sailor Moon voice)

“Oh Darien …” (In my Sailor Moon voice)

He was the reason I started to daydream about love, decided that marriage might not be a bad idea when I grew up, and found myself having a thing for intelligent, dark haired men who like to wear shades and suits whenever they think they can pull it off. He was my first book boyfriend. And to this day, I still find myself swooning whenever I pick up any of the Sailor Moon mangas and come across him in a scene.

Now back to my main topic. What I really want to talk about is the impact these men/boys have on women. Some may say it’s just an unrealistic crush on a man who doesn’t exist, but I believe their impact reaches deeper than that. I think these men do something to women on a subconscious level that changes the way we pick future mates. They change what we consider to be non-negotiable in relationships, alter our view of what a healthy relationship is, and even give us hope when we have a bad break up.

Which is why I think we, as romance authors, should put more thought into what we make our heroes to be. We should pose the question of, ‘Would I want to date this guy or have my mother/sister/daughter/best-friend date him?’ If the answer is no, then maybe we should re-think having him as our hero. Because he just may become someone’s first book boyfriend, and the pinnacle of the perfect man in someone else’s eyes.

 

 

Concept of the Twin

And when one of them meets with his other half  . . . these are the people who pass their whole lives together; yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover’s intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell, and of which she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment

From Plato’s The Symposium

Tales of great love abound in the world, yet there is one type that I am especially fond of. The concept of what is commonly referred to as twin flames or twin souls. Plato is the earliest source for such a concept as mentioned in the quote above. A love between two people that is ultimately free of any restrictions that the modern concept of love places onto most relationships.  Restrictions such as jealousy, fear of losing someone, and leaving once you don’t feel the spark anymore. Not that all modern tales of love have these pitfalls, but a good majority do at some stage.

Another difference is that twin flames doesn’t the love between twin flames isn’t always a romantic love, although it can be. It is an intense bond that surpasses time and brings with it a feeling of knowing. The main idea behind it is that when the human race was made, we were both masculine and feminine in one form. But those two parts were split apart and therefore mankind was left with the burden of always striving to find their other half.

When one meets their twin flame it is said that you experience a great feeling of coming home. Even if they are involved romantically with someone else, it doesn’t matter. As long as you have your twin in your life, you feel whole again. This does not necessarily mean you feel you need them to be happy, although it can lead to feelings of hopelessness when they leave your life. But it is more like knowing that you found someone who you can connect with on a level most people will never experience. Everything just falls into sync between the two people involved, and you feel like they are literally a mirror of your entire soul. From your greatest fears to your greatest accomplishments, they are the reflection of your true self.

As with almost all good things, a love like this does have its own drawbacks. There is the potential that one, if not both, parties will be very scared of the feeling that comes with such a unique experience. Leading to feelings of rejection, confusion, and overall anxiety about being drawn to a complete stranger and not being able to stop such feelings. There This causes one to run away, leading to a sometimes never ending cycle of feelings of emotional pain and loss. It’s a complex love and one that I greatly enjoy writing and reading about. Possibly because I felt it once before myself.

What are your thoughts though? Do you believe twin flames exist, and if so, have you ever experienced such a connection yourself?

So, how long have you been a writer?

I get asked this quite frequently when I tell people I’m working on my debut novel. Usually I just say five years, since that’s when the idea to write what I’m working on, first came to me. The truth is, I’ve been a writer my entire life. Books were some my best friends growing up. Every chance I got, I would beg my mom to take me down to the public library. While other kids would be content with their picture books about watching John run. I was itching to get into the fiction section.

Finally one day I did, when my mother allowed a very young me, to take James M. Barrie’s popular book, Peter Pan, home for the first time. I still remember the first time I read the last sentence in it before closing it and breathing a sigh of relief. The feeling of finishing my first big kid book on my own.

That moment started a fire inside of me. I’d always been a daydreamer, finding the worlds I visited in my head during the night and day, more appealing than the real world. And from that moment on, I knew I wanted to write just like Mr. Barrie. To put onto paper the things I saw playing through my head like a movie for hours on end throughout the day. Thus began the beginning of my life long dream, to become not only a writer. But a published one who was pretty good at what she felt she had been born to do.