50 Shades of Meh

 

After listening to Beyoncé’s haunting rendition of Crazy in Love while watching that movie preview, I finally took the plunge. I read 50 Shades of Grey.

Now according to some of my friends, I am greatly behind the times for someone who has a tendency to weave erotic elements into their writing. One of them even billed the book as being the greatest piece of erotic fiction of our times. Of course that still didn’t convince me that I was missing anything, and I would’ve happily went on with my life without knowing the secret lust for a certain emotionally wounded and unavailable billionaire.

However, the movie trailer got me (damn that elevator kiss!) and so I began to think of reading the book in preparation for the movie debut. After all, there had to be something so compelling about it that it became the best selling, world phenomenon that it is today. And so over the course of a few days (because I am admittedly a slow reader) I followed the journey of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey under the quiet illumination of my bedside lamp.

 

Note: BOOK SPOILERS COMING UP! Read on at your own risk.

After reading the book, I came away with mixed feelings. Anger, boredom, and anticipation to be exact. I found Christian Grey to be an intoxicating character with enough mystery and grace to make me want him. Seriously, when I was a quarter way through the book, I was at work daydreaming about what he would do or say next. On the other hand, his sudden use of the term “laters babe”, broke the spell and left me feeling deflated as he went from being a mature young adult in my mind, to a horny adolescent boy.

I also found Anastasia’s internal posse that consisted of her inner goddess and intution incarnate, to be annoying. I didn’t seriously need to read about how her inner goddess took the lotus position everytime Christian caved to her neediness, which in turn made her feel valued as a woman. But it was there every few pages. I also could’ve done away with the excessive sex scenes. I mean I get that the book is an erotic romance, but some of the sex scenes were just unnecessary.

Her loosing her virginity, necessary. Them having sex in the bathroom twice in one scene, unecessary. It got so bad that near the end I just skipped over anything that mentioned the words down there, my sex, and orgasm. I just wanted to read their story and see how things ended, which brings me to my final point.

I hated the ending. They broke up, and yes if you read this review without reading the book and are now throwing your pillow against the wall incessantly while you scream ‘why!?!?’ Much like I did, then you’re welcome. I still remember flipping those last few pages over in hopes that they would at least find a compromise between her unwillingness to submit to him fully, and his inability to get close to her. And what was the resolution?

They broke up. I’m still angry about it now and don’t even want to go on to read the rest of the series. Although I’ve read over the interwebs about their reconciliation in the next two books. It made me that mad.

All in all though, I can say that I see why the book was so big. It was taboo and dangled the promise of racy sex with a hot billionaire who was the ultimate gentleman in front of millions of women. How can that not sell? Do I think it was good though? Well I think the title of my post answers that.

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3 thoughts on “50 Shades of Meh

  1. I completely agree with you! I didn’t actually make it through all the books though. I merely skimmed them and found myself bored as could be by the incessant love scenes that made up the entire book. And I can’t say it enough: this author sucks at writing! It was extremely elementary. Not to mention I hated both characters right from the start. Although I’m surprised that you said they broke up. My sister and many others have said they decided to get married and she was pregnant. Are there different versions, or did I get confused? Either way, it’s just another book to titillate the bored masses of people with some controversy to gossip about.

    • I found the first couple of love scenes to be tolerable, but near the end of the book it became obvious that they were filler. Also, in the end of the first book they did break up. I guess she found his “secular tastes”to be too depraved. I have read that they go on to get married and she gets pregnant in the following books, which is why I’m almost tempted to read the other two novels. However, I’m not sure if I can stand anymore of Christian running his hands through his hair while Anastasia constantly consults her inner goddess.

  2. Oh okay, I get it now. Yeah, I wouldn’t waste my time. Neither characters are likable in my opinion. And in order to have a good book, you have to have good characters.

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